is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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