I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
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She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
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We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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