if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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