I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
