i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he injected his testicle?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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