I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
