who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
