May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I know her cup size but not her name....
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