Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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