What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
