If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
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He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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