Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
