just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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