im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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