Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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