Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Did you just see the Batmobile???
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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