First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
