What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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