We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
