Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You're a waste of cheezeits
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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