I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize