his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
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