Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
my phone needs a breathalizer
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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