if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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