Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
