Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Randomize
