I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
