38 yer olds are good kisserssss
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
