1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I feel like a drive thru vagina
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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