can u get pink eye on your cock?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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