I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
