you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize