My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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