I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
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So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
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I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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