Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
