so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
