either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
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Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
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It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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