then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
