Having a random hookup so left but love u
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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