I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize