You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
