Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
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there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
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I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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