Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...

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  (610): Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick... http://tfl.nu/36kw
  Replies (67) Good night (5558) Bad night (975)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.

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  (817): After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot. http://tfl.nu/l939
  Replies (63) Good night (826) Bad night (8327)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true

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  (719): Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true http://tfl.nu/xhyv
  Replies (20) Good night (4782) Bad night (751)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation

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  (817): Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation http://tfl.nu/c4tn
  Replies (37) Good night (1372) Bad night (4465)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Thanks for getting me home last night.

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.

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  (281): Thanks for getting me home last night. (832): No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa. http://tfl.nu/wftp
  Replies (29) Good night (9164) Bad night (1156)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.

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  (502): I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me. http://tfl.nu/3nq2
  Replies (6) Good night (963) Bad night (3700)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.

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  (318): my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes. http://tfl.nu/jzo6
  Replies (6) Good night (4489) Bad night (1145)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd

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  (252): Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd http://tfl.nu/1g97
  Replies (8) Good night (1414) Bad night (2363)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Jake bring pizza.

  (775): View more from Nevada

  JAKE BRING PIZZA.

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  (775): Jake bring pizza. (775): JAKE BRING PIZZA. http://tfl.nu/e6ij
  Replies (6) Good night (1896) Bad night (515)
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  (914): View more from New York

  just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow

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  (914): just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow http://tfl.nu/fqfl
  Replies (6) Good night (1370) Bad night (523)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"

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  (540): Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home" http://tfl.nu/xfn6
  Replies (8) Good night (1463) Bad night (352)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.

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  (+61): Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That. http://tfl.nu/q1fl
  Replies (3) Good night (623) Bad night (287)
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  (408): View more from California

  I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary

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  (408): I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary http://tfl.nu/kxfy
  Replies (2) Good night (773) Bad night (282)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.

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  (706): The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done. http://tfl.nu/bycu
  Replies (0) Good night (565) Bad night (261)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.

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  (734): I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland. http://tfl.nu/euk2
  Replies (3) Good night (448) Bad night (278)

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