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The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
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