Texts From Last Night

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  (210): View more from Texas

  Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.

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  (210): Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly. http://tfl.nu/2xxy
  Replies (19) Good night (1925) Bad night (791)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.

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  (803): i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them. http://tfl.nu/cyia
  Replies (5) Good night (723) Bad night (4367)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF

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  (203): THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF http://tfl.nu/hsyz
  Replies (20) Good night (3776) Bad night (1092)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.

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  (573): my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake. http://tfl.nu/nq7t
  Replies (49) Good night (2204) Bad night (4483)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death

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  (206): I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death http://tfl.nu/irfc
  Replies (14) Good night (3619) Bad night (1408)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.

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  (847): We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate. http://tfl.nu/z0ff
  Replies (10) Good night (8755) Bad night (935)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.

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  (773): It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse. http://tfl.nu/a75v
  Replies (8) Good night (2765) Bad night (1336)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.

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  (904): stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit. http://tfl.nu/ijlk
  Replies (5) Good night (1878) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come

  (804): View more from Virginia

  and you stopped teaching...why?

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  (724): You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come (804): and you stopped teaching...why? http://tfl.nu/8fjo
  Replies (5) Good night (2063) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate

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  (804): I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate http://tfl.nu/clkd
  Replies (6) Good night (1572) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.

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  (504): U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life. http://tfl.nu/tysm
  Replies (2) Good night (622) Bad night (1198)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score

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  (608): his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score http://tfl.nu/rd1e
  Replies (7) Good night (1333) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!

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  (907): I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?! http://tfl.nu/q90z
  Replies (6) Good night (441) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.

  (1-229): View more from Georgia

  I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.

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  (229): I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier. (1-229): I feel like I got ass raped in the brain. http://tfl.nu/l1ue
  Replies (15) Good night (815) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...

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  (250): We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID... http://tfl.nu/i2zd
  Replies (2) Good night (948) Bad night (341)

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