I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.