Texts From Last Night

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  (253): View more from Washington

  Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.

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  (253): Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it. http://tfl.nu/s7pq
  Replies (15) Good night (748) Bad night (3738)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.

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  (651): i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen. http://tfl.nu/ur6p
  Replies (28) Good night (8845) Bad night (802)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.

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  (724): I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina. http://tfl.nu/8v08
  Replies (16) Good night (5607) Bad night (1678)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..

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  (574): Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called.. http://tfl.nu/0u89
  Replies (13) Good night (1142) Bad night (3414)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.

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  (281): I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home. http://tfl.nu/pc90
  Replies (8) Good night (2504) Bad night (956)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included

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  (515): You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included http://tfl.nu/xxv8
  Replies (4) Good night (4333) Bad night (848)
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  (315): View more from New York

  So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.

  (315): View more from New York

  They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.

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  (315): So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers. (315): They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair. http://tfl.nu/om27
  Replies (10) Good night (1725) Bad night (679)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.

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  (360): He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way. http://tfl.nu/k068
  Replies (7) Good night (629) Bad night (1410)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.

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  (609): The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit. http://tfl.nu/al9k
  Replies (6) Good night (542) Bad night (1350)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.

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  (301): I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had. http://tfl.nu/epuv
  Replies (5) Good night (1026) Bad night (500)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.

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  (214): I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports. http://tfl.nu/apdh
  Replies (4) Good night (770) Bad night (381)
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.

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  (+27): Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on. http://tfl.nu/4hb1
  Replies (1) Good night (719) Bad night (426)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away

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  (864): Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night? (803): You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away http://tfl.nu/jmsz
  Replies (0) Good night (1255) Bad night (431)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.

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  (360): I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin. http://tfl.nu/4get
  Replies (2) Good night (868) Bad night (299)
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  (315): View more from New York

  We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?

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  (315): We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like? http://tfl.nu/ue3p
  Replies (1) Good night (774) Bad night (265)

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