Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work

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  (757): i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work http://tfl.nu/0keb
  Replies (20) Good night (5096) Bad night (1170)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter

  (310): View more from California

  your less of a man for seeing that

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  (201): know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter (310): your less of a man for seeing that http://tfl.nu/root
  Replies (13) Good night (836) Bad night (3474)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.

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  (719): Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete. http://tfl.nu/49zr
  Replies (20) Good night (5970) Bad night (851)
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  (510): View more from California

  And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"

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  (510): And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work" http://tfl.nu/x4nq
  Replies (40) Good night (788) Bad night (10585)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.

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  (330): Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley. http://tfl.nu/14i4
  Replies (16) Good night (1142) Bad night (5151)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.

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  (954): 8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on. http://tfl.nu/8x7p
  Replies (6) Good night (5425) Bad night (889)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.

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  (515): mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money. http://tfl.nu/cehx
  Replies (7) Good night (907) Bad night (3294)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.

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  (573): We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old. http://tfl.nu/bm7p
  Replies (5) Good night (1765) Bad night (1041)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.

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  (402): I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of. http://tfl.nu/pxlj
  Replies (3) Good night (883) Bad night (2383)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving

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  (+44): I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving http://tfl.nu/jxug
  Replies (6) Good night (3438) Bad night (973)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo

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  (757): broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo http://tfl.nu/o3pc
  Replies (11) Good night (2099) Bad night (951)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.

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  (601): Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though. http://tfl.nu/pqgx
  Replies (20) Good night (3350) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?

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  (610): I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason? http://tfl.nu/yqy8
  Replies (7) Good night (724) Bad night (960)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.

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  (310): I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there. http://tfl.nu/77nt
  Replies (1) Good night (795) Bad night (289)
• Favorite

  (551): View more from New Jersey

  My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie

  (1-551): View more from New Jersey

  You've got post-grad studies written all over you

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  (551): My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie (1-551): You've got post-grad studies written all over you http://tfl.nu/kigg
  Replies (2) Good night (568) Bad night (203)

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