Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.

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  (516): If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals. http://tfl.nu/q4jm
  Replies (9) Good night (866) Bad night (1390)
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  (716): View more from New York

  i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.

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  (716): i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy. http://tfl.nu/q9at
  Replies (76) Good night (3541) Bad night (1966)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him

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  (917): Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him http://tfl.nu/5c6r
  Replies (144) Good night (17726) Bad night (2956)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.

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  (305): She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself. http://tfl.nu/c54w
  Replies (57) Good night (839) Bad night (5434)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  You went to church with your boobs hanging out?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.

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  (937): You went to church with your boobs hanging out? (978): Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well. http://tfl.nu/nomt
  Replies (22) Good night (6971) Bad night (1162)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."

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  (708): After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded." http://tfl.nu/j96i
  Replies (51) Good night (6852) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.

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  (662): Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing. http://tfl.nu/08ze
  Replies (10) Good night (770) Bad night (3495)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.

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  (814): You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out. http://tfl.nu/306z
  Replies (6) Good night (2403) Bad night (1331)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king

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  (571): I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king http://tfl.nu/c906
  Replies (8) Good night (1900) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands

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  (925): I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands http://tfl.nu/dboa
  Replies (5) Good night (779) Bad night (2287)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.

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  (502): Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis. http://tfl.nu/i3da
  Replies (2) Good night (599) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.

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  (940): Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night. http://tfl.nu/76za
  Replies (2) Good night (669) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka

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  (919): Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka http://tfl.nu/78jn
  Replies (4) Good night (708) Bad night (224)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.

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  (443): I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste. http://tfl.nu/1x8j
  Replies (6) Good night (718) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment

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  (651): I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment http://tfl.nu/g035
  Replies (2) Good night (449) Bad night (203)

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