I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better