Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow