Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear

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(802): it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear http://tfl.nu/jyif

Replies (2) Good night (1996) Bad night (730)
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(317): View more from Indiana

im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.

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(317): im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like. http://tfl.nu/djvv

Replies (21) Good night (1350) Bad night (5635)
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(407): View more from Florida

I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..

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(407): I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks.. http://tfl.nu/av5i

Replies (13) Good night (1055) Bad night (4247)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".

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(864): We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me". http://tfl.nu/ag7w

Replies (3) Good night (3426) Bad night (979)
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(845): View more from New York

I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.

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(845): I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet. http://tfl.nu/36t1

Replies (32) Good night (2258) Bad night (6658)
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(248): View more from Michigan

sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.

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(248): sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us. http://tfl.nu/2qw1

Replies (11) Good night (5012) Bad night (1090)
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(360): View more from Washington

In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip

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(360): In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip http://tfl.nu/ivxr

Replies (3) Good night (1972) Bad night (718)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.

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(828): YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN. http://tfl.nu/nkzr

Replies (2) Good night (1976) Bad night (1228)
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(815): View more from Illinois

im sober

(920): View more from Wisconsin

you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive

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(815): im sober (920): you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive http://tfl.nu/hm58

Replies (3) Good night (2511) Bad night (669)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.

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(484): there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now. http://tfl.nu/o3be

Replies (12) Good night (883) Bad night (1735)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.

(606): View more from Kentucky

Fuck him.

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(304): When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred. (606): Fuck him. http://tfl.nu/h9q7

Replies (3) Good night (1500) Bad night (983)
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(407): View more from Florida

It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant

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(407): It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant http://tfl.nu/td2c

Replies (9) Good night (528) Bad night (1160)
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(319): View more from Iowa

I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.

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(319): I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls. http://tfl.nu/wkuc

Replies (3) Good night (543) Bad night (852)
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(512): View more from Texas

I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...

(512): View more from Texas

Cross faded me is not the classiest.

(817): View more from Texas

No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that

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(512): I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed... (512): Cross faded me is not the classiest. (817): No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that http://tfl.nu/rzqz

Replies (1) Good night (550) Bad night (429)
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(408): View more from California

my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck

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(408): my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck http://tfl.nu/pgzd

Replies (2) Good night (587) Bad night (273)

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