So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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