I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
MIDGETS
????
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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