I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
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Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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