So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
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the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
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I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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