it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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