Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
