I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
