Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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