i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Houston, we have a squirter
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
