just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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