If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
