I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
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