i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
