He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
This is my gift to your gina
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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