All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
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I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize