dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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